T'was the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck,
Confused by a world so politically correct.
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
Were alleged by the Union to stifle the soul.
Four Reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear,
That Santa had better not just use Reindeer.
So Dancer & Donner, Comet & Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were thought dangerous by the H & SA.
Second-hand pike smoke left his workers quite frightened.
His fur-trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened"
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs & flows,
Rudolf was suing for use of his nose
He'd claimed on Watchdog in front of the Nation
Millions of pounds due in compensation.
Half of the Reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
After joining a help group, she left in a whiz,
Demanding in future her title was Ms.
And as for gifts, well he'd ne'er a notion,
That careless choosing could cause such a commotion.
Nothing of Leather & nothing of Fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute,
Nothing to aim, nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise,
Nowt just for girls, or just for boys,
Nothing that claimed to be gender-specific.
Nothing that’s warlike or non-pacific
No Candy or Sweets...they were bad for the tooth,
Nothing that seemed to embellish the truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Barbie & Ken, better off hidden.
For those who think Santa should fulfil a dream,
The best type of gift is one that is green.
No baseball or football...one could get hurt;
Playing such sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls are thought to be sexist, and should be passé,
And Nintendo will rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
Trying to figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry; he tried to be gay;
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing acceptable there to be found.
Something special for all, a gift that he might,
Give to the world without anger from the left or the right.
A gift to satisfy, without indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every colour & hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is a gift, its price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on Earth"
Merry Christmas!! 13 Days To Go!
Threads added since last time are from the Poinsettias Card for my Mum's workplace, who decided they didn't want it afterall so it's now framed and being displayed on my mantlepiece. Also added some yellow DMC threads from Somebunny To Love, who is coming on nicely as you can see :
Moving on to try and finish Somebunny to Love 'April Showers'. It seems appropriate given the weather we've been having in Oxford lately!
Secondly I finished off the Bentley Bear freebie kit from Cross Stitch Crazy magazine, I forget which issue but it's a recent one!
Bentley was the only piece of Christmas stitching I planned to do this year but then my mum asked me to finish a project she was doing for the window display at her work place, I agreed to but found myself having to start again as she had made quite a few mistakes which her work place won't accept. So now I have until Tuesday to do this design. 
Here's how much I've done so far...
